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It’s laborious to consider that Thanksgiving is actually in only a few days. It looks as if solely yesterday that summer time was lighting a literal hearth beneath so many people’ asses. However right here we’re. Thanksgiving is my favourite vacation; you get good meals and fellowship with household and pals. And talking of excellent meals, it’s known as dressing. You already know what foodstuff I’m speaking about: the merchandise served in a pan with numerous breadstuffs and seasonings and greens and whatnots and henceforths that a few of you poor, unlucky souls name stuffing.

Can I rap with y’all a style? That’s a pun—I actually had no concept that the stuffing-versus-dressing argument was each such an enormous one and so sustainable. Proper right here on VSB, we’ve had this dialogue greater than as soon as again in 2014 (each right here and right here). It was enlightening to see how enjoyable and improper so many individuals are (once more, it’s dressing).

I made a decision to Google stuffing versus dressing since I consider that each the kids are our future and that individuals ought to know what it’s they’re even arguing over. This led me to the web site of Butterball, an organization that, as you possibly can think about, is usually extraordinarily busy throughout this time of yr. It solely is smart that they’d weigh in on this dilemma, which, seems, is a nationwide one.

(It additionally seems that Butterball is improper, too.)

In line with Butterball and a number of other casual polls I’ve taken, it will appear that the overwhelming majority of individuals confer with that bready goodness as stuffing. What’s complicated about my very own life is that the overwhelming majority (like 70 % plus) of my American household comes from the states of Alabama and Georgia. Alabama? We name it dressing. In Georgia, we apparently largely name it stuffing. Which has me all confused as a result of I do know in my soul it’s dressing despite the fact that the 2 states the place my household hails from appear to be at Hatfields-and-McCoys odds.

So I texted my sisters—three siblings I grew up in a home with who even have the identical Alabama/Georgia connections. All of us name it dressing. Which implies my mom and grandmother would have known as it dressing which implies it’s dressing as a result of ain’t no one gonna inform me that my mama or grandma is improper.

I even assumed that maybe the South largely known as it dressing, however based on Butterball, even the South as a complete is in a civil conflict over what to name it. Now, I’ve a troublesome time defending the state of Alabama in any capability in the meanwhile, however I’m on the facet of dressing, which Alabama sides with, which signifies that even a broke clock is true twice a day. You don’t have any thought how laborious it was to kind that final sentence.

To me, the reply to the eons-old query is straightforward: stuffing is within the chook, dressing ain’t. For some cause, this straightforward reality—this quest for reality, gentle and the best way—leads some individuals astray. Lead us not into temptation for we already know how, however lead us to the kitchen and the facet of proper as dressing.

It’s time to return out of the darkish ages and acknowledge the foodstuff for its true and correct title, dressing. Stuffing goes in sofa pillows and Construct-a-Bears. Dressing goes in my stomach for Thanksgiving, to not be confused with dressing that you just placed on salad—they’re pronounced in a different way. One is pronounced like DRE-ssing (Thanksgiving) and the opposite is pronounced DRES-sing (salad). It’s a delicate distinction, I do know.

However be a part of me on the facet of proper; enlighten the unenlightened. Give any person who doesn’t know what they don’t know a stable dressing down. Then go them a pan of dressing in order that we could all sit down at each the correct and left arms of God the Father almighty and get our eat on. Reward the Lord and go the peas, as they used to say—to the left as a result of all I would like on this lifetime of sin … is dressing.

It’s fully potential that you’ll nonetheless maintain on to your wayward methods on this vocabulistic conflict over Thanksgiving meals. Proceed—name it stuffing—however simply know that you’re improper and that someplace out there’s a little one who would possibly look to you for steerage at some point. Steer them proper. Information lil’ Dejuantré to the dressing. Like intercourse, do it for the children.

Blissful (early) Thanksgiving. Might your dressing be plentiful.

Thanks, Obama.

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